How to Educate Children

One time, there was a mother who complained about her son. He told me, her eldest son was the class V SD. He's stubborn, courageous mother denied. Only the father she feared. The mother was very surprised with his son's behavior. Their children often skipped school. Even in a week is often only in 3 days. Even the guardian class had several times come to the house to persuade him to return to school. As a general test any semester, the class guardian to bring about done at home. Son diligently watching television, but lazy to do the prayer.
Once upon a time, the mother went to her parents' house, a distance of 30 km from his home. This is done because it is very annoyed with his behavior. And feel burdened because they are not able to educate their children. And only the father and the child alone at home. Then the father told his son that his mother would not leave until the child pick himself and apologized. Heard his father say that, the boy and then riding a bicycle to her grandmother's house.
With this incident, the mother thought her son had changed. But unexpectedly, apparently the child back as usual. Still do anything that makes the mother and father overwhelmed.
The mother told me was in many ways done to "cure" this child. Frighten the child, that dare to parents is sinful and would later live and be tortured in hell. Even the psychologist had been, to a pack of Kyai also been done. What is suggested by the village elders to "mbancaki" are also quite done. But apparently her eldest son also did not change his condition.
Contained in the mother's mind is, how his son's future when teenagers, after the entry into junior high school or grow up, whether it will stay that way. Besides lessons in schools today are too difficult, whether the child could follow later with a good lesson.
Thrung thuung thung ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
I was shocked to hear this mother's story. I just took a deep breath. Oops .... How lightly the task of a mother. In my heart, I think ... ... ... duh, I've never been a mother, how about this dicurhati yes. : D But it's OK. This is how God mendewasakanku ... ... ... ... ... And I was challenged as well. How to cope with children like this. Although not married, does not mean it is forbidden to write about it? : D

I tried to read books about child rearing. Art Educate Children's Dr. Without Violence. Muhammad Fahd Ats-Tsuwaini. Something attracted me to pick it up from the book. He wrote, there are some things that cause children against their parents. Include:
 misunderstanding and lack of
Occasionally, according to parents, the command given to children is clear and straightforward. But apparently, not so according to the child. Children feel less understanding of what was ordered by her parents. Children are then came and apologized and asked what was meant by the parent. Usually kids like this, because it was concentrating on other things, for example: eating, playing, working on homework, etc..
How to deal: When a child carried away with "world" then, repeat the command, or host sediki sound and touch him until he remembered, and then repeat the command without any emotion or anger. Sangkalah be kind to him, that he did not deliberately. Be suspect of the Muslims is obligatory, especially against children.
 Looking for attention and support
Could be, disobedient child because she wanted to get attention from their parents. This could happen, either because the child was rarely observed and only when there is a dialogue that is not true in children.
How to overcome: to find a motive, why do kids do that and continued with the transfer orders to other children or do their own job. Thus, the child will be forthcoming. Listen to him. This step should also be at the right time to find the cause of a child seeking attention.
 Procrastination
Sometimes children deliberately refuse to do something immediately. He had promised to implement. He had put it off until she felt ready to carry out the order. This can be caused due to incompetence, lack of appropriate ways of governing, or lazy and tired.
How to deal: Sometimes children feel unable to work because not strong, not to mind, or because of embarrassment. For that, understand that the opposition may be an expression of disability. Sometimes parents also gave orders to the child regardless of the situation, or when children feel tired. For that, look at the conditions, if the child is tired, may take some time to implement the state is not forced.
 Refusing Parents Without command for
Sometimes children refuse to do something and show that "I do not want". In this case, there are several ways to deal with, among others:
o Teach children the meaning of obedience in terms of preferred or despised for not in disobedience
o Use a good way and appropriate when asked
o Using the words of polite when told
o Understanding the barriers children if such a situation
o Describe different opinion because when a child or explaining the benefits for parents and children in executing the command
o Describe any other causes that can draw closer the distance between children and parents, especially in terms of devotion to parents and the reward will be earned.
It was probably not easy to do all that. But there are things that motivate to educate children in such a way, to be sholeh child. How her happy to have children who sholeh. A very valuable asset, which makes the reward will not be interrupted even if the spirit has been separated from the body.
To educate children to be children who sholeh, qurrota A'yun, not enough just to one child pedagogy, but there are many things that are also needed.